It’s time for THE talk. S.E.X. Already?

sex educationIt was an ambush plain and simple.

There we were, enjoying a lazy Sunday on the couch.

Quality family time and all that. Mr Bean and I were reading books. The youngest was diligently doing his word revision and the eldest, who I have to nag ad nauseam to read finally conceded and picked up a book.

But not just any book, he opened his school DICKtionary … as he likes to describe it. Somebody save me from the 9-year-old toilet humour.

So there we were, relaxing, blissfully ignorant of what was to come.

My cocky son, a begrudging reader at best, read in a clear, loud voice without faltering.

SEXY. SEXIST. SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

Oh S&^%!!!!

My husband and I looked at each other, the alarm clear in our eyes.

Already? But we’re not prepared. He’s only 9!

He knew what he was doing. I suspect this wasn’t the first time he had turned to the ‘S’ section of the dictionary..

Is this still in print?

Is this still in print?

Onwards our son marched, launching into a loud, word perfect reading of the definition of SI, trying to stifle his laughter.

His younger brother sniffed some fun to be had and came over for a closer look.

I quickly tried to shut down the ‘dictionary reading’.

‘Okay Alex, that’s enough. Let’s read a proper book shall we?’

My husband, possibly in shock, looked on in stunned and slightly bemused awe.

‘At least we know there’s nothing wrong with his reading ability,’ he conceded.

Once the immediate drama had passed we had a husband/wife debrief.

Does this mean it’s time for THE talk? Bags not giving it, I said.

I’ve ordered some books to help my husband craft the discussion. It’s the least I could do.

Have you had THE talk with your children yet? How old are they? What’s the best approach? All advice welcome!